Puzzle Pieces

To witness a moment in time where reality becomes determined by an empty living room can change your perspective. When the vastness of space for a split second defeats your attempt of survival and prayer overcomes your ability to admit loss.

Perhaps loss is what was needed. Perhaps prayer makes you realize that. Perhaps...you gain more losing it.

Throughout the past few years I have become an expert at creating a world full of two cent advice, sidestepping emotional ditties meant for me and embracing the fact that I will always help those close to me drag the emotional baggage to the next stage in their life. Thus learning sometimes you simply have to chuck the bag out the window and dust yourself off.

You can't put together someone else's puzzle; all you can do is help sort the pieces. Along the way I find that it often helps you place your own puzzle together. That you don't realize how much something means to you until the moment it is questioned, harmed or snatched.

I find I often act on impulse when that moment occurs in my life. My typical lets think about this, strategize a plan, did you remember the highlighter attitude ceases and I find myself in overdrive with adrenaline to do what is right. Who's to say its right, I dont know.

All I can say is that I am okay with it. My feisty opinionated self that walks out on the limb often alone, I love. I love that God humbles me after I probably should have at least remembered the highlighter. I love that my puzzle pieces are beginning to be filled with trust and not jaded, calm and not cynical, faith and not phobic. I love that when you take a look at my unfinished puzzle, my friends have laughter, my family have love and I am perfectly happy being covered in dust in an empty living room.

Sometimes you have to feel small in order to realize how great you can be.