Thursday, February 26, 2009

Adam and Eve


I like to think Eve was created because Adam was lonely, but he didn’t realize how lonely he was until he met Eve.

I believe you don’t really see the cracks and contours of life until you encounter even a fleeting moment that is without the one that changes your life.

I used to have this big mental picture in my mind of changing the world. That one day I would make an impact that made everyone else notice. This was until someone made an impact on mine that caused spaces in time to be more special and life changing then big mental pictures.

I look back to my days in college, in ....Florida.... and realize how ridiculous my world was. I am amazed to think back of my behavior, that I even cared or how I almost went over the edge where I wasn’t me anymore. One of my proudest moments is when I walked away. I came in with a best friend, and left with a best friend. Every other person that I considered to be a close friend I am no longer in contact with. Perhaps a hello catered to a now acquaintance.

We all make choices and chances are we make the choices that make our environment easiest to survive in. I am finally blessed to have an environment that doesn’t make me have to choose.

Growing up, my reality was not like those of the kind I encounter now. I am humbled at the decisions and hills of those that I consider my world now had to go through. I find this gives me a rather naïve reputation but I also find that it brings a refreshing quality to all of us.

I do not tolerate things I used to. I do not tolerate gossip that is of no use, laughter that stings and harshness that in the end only makes me look tarnished.

I need sunshine to feed my soul, I always have. It became ironic that the sunshine state took the very light out of me. I had my first breath of summer a couple days ago and felt such a renewing spirit that I had the giggles all day. It felt good to return to myself.

Myself that has a full happy heart, good true friends, and that moment of solitude that isn’t loneliness.

Monday, January 12, 2009

A year in review

A Year In Review.
I rang in the new year with a guy that has stolen my heart.
He continued to run away with it in Feburary.
Doggie sitting and a birthday came in March.
April was met with a phone call in the Chicago airport with four days later my person making a decision to save her life. I'm proud of her and back her up no matter how many people fall to the curb.
May introuduced me to my first year of graduate school behind me.
June became hard. The colleague I work the closet with took his own life on a Tuesday morning. I did not cry for three weeks. I didn't sleep either. Please vist if you are struggling with depression and/or suicide. On a brighter note I celebrated one year with my love and he took me to see Phantom of the Opera.
July 4th weekend was witinessing Albert Pujols' 300th homerun, the Cubs/Cardinals showdown and the aftermath of natural disasters.
Augst I took the worst plane trip of my life with someone terrified to fly. This plane ride did not curb her fears.
September was spend with my best guy, my best friend, and my family. Turning 26 wasn't so bad.
October I got to be Wilma Flinstone, go to the circus, and see NBA players.
Novemeber I rocked out Irish style to Dropkick Murphys, experienced my first OU football game and spent Thanksgiving with family and people without family.
December I decorated my very own Christmas tree. I packed my work boxes into my own office and I rang in the New Year once again with my guy.
Alot happened in 2008. Do I have regrets? A couple.I could have prayed more, listened more, stressed less and worried less. I find my favorite moments come from cuddles on the couch with my guy, Sex And The City dvds with my bestie, Sunday movies with my mom, Chines food with my dad, and lunch with my brother.