Monday, January 7, 2008

Tilt A Whirls

I find that the first writing of a new year is the contemplation of the previous year. 2007 was perhaps my most growing up year. Where I started out feeling 2 inches tall and ended up with peace.

Regrets are tough to get over sometimes but lack of acknowledgment of something bigger and better is worse. I'm happy to say that for the first time, I finally acknowledged another's presence and love for me as true.

Things I learned:
- "No one can make you feel interior without your consent" Eleanor Roosevelt was a smart lady.
- Snowboarding on ice will indeed bruise your butt and you will need at least two days to heal.
- Having ownership of a business isn't as glamorous as people think.
- Just because you treat someone with respect, don't expect it back. Some simply are selfish.
- A 4.0 in your first year of grad school IS possible
- Having no co signer on a vehicle is empowerment.
- Fenway is even more breathtaking that all the posters, television screenings and posters make it out to be.
- Your parents will always think they know what is best for you…this wont change...ever.
- Faith is restored when all you have left is the ability to be on your knees to pray but not enough strength to stand.
- Fear and worry can overcome you if you don't know who you are. Being lost can be one of the most difficult experiences of a lifetime.

Probably the most important thing:
Healing takes time. Healing hurts. Healing makes you experience every emotion twofold wrapped up in twirl-a-whirl of tears, smiles, sickness and vulnerability.

But every once in a while someone might just come along that even when you don't deserve it, even when you are waiting for them to get sick and all it quits will volunteer to get on the tilt-a-whirl simply because you are on it.

I find this one the most mysterious, the one I fight most and the one I absolutely cannot live without.

I finally let someone get on with me. It changed my life.