Thursday, September 21, 2006

Zigging or Zagging

Does it exist?

Are there signs that point you in a direction that you were suppose to go all along?

Attributes of those you've encountered.
Feelings lost.

I've been told that I take prying. That I'm Stonewall and that at times I am difficult. I know this. I'm not proud of it and if we were to have disclaimers before you meet someone mine would somewhere along the lines state that you have to stick around a while in order to get inside my head. It's a character flaw I can't seem to brush off.

I had a discussion the other evening with someone that I indirectly came to be friends with. I don't try to figure out its meaning or its purpose but I am thankful. Through our discussion the concept of it having to be a rigorous process to live up to his standards came up. I often feel like I'm talking to myself when I'm talking to him, and for a moment I don't feel crazy for being me.

Call it selfishness or call it attempting to look out but the 'rigorous process' in our heads seems to make sense. Who knows if this is true and how obnoxious it sounds that I still feel like I have a par to compete with. I know I'm not alone in the aspect of having friends simply disappear, bad choices or decisions or being the only one to have to pick up the pieces of your heart when the person that shattered it walks away.

So perhaps time really is all we have. Hoping you can make it to finish line without the clock running out. Hoping you zigged or zagged when you were suppose too. Hoping that even if you did get off track you always manage to find your way back.