Monday, March 12, 2007


"When do you get to that point of enough is enough?"
- "Never."

What if it's just you can't seem to get it together? What if no matter how much one has it together, the other one cant, wont or you don't see it that way?

I am convinced sometimes in life there is some other force pulling you towards a direction that if you used your brain all the time you wouldn't go that way. Without it, one would not veer off course, make a complete mess out of life or fall in love.

I am also convinced that without these off course excursions I would not be the mess of beautiful emotions I am. It has come to my attention recently how I have played a part in some peoples lives and without the off roading I would not have been blessed to have these people in MY life much less help them in any way. So I find the bumpy ride holding on to the 'oh crap' handles much more worthwhile.

I absolutely love the life I have been given. I adore the spectrum of friends I have and how one would sleep in pearls if she could and one that once donated plasma for a habit that I hope doesn't kill him. I am so blessed to be able to have the opportunity to view even small frames of their life.

Every once in a while someone comes along that takes a piece of my heart and in my head I know them taking it will probably hurt me but I find I give it anyway. It hurts for a while after they go away but with time the void becomes filled with a peace and I end up better then I was. So I figure maybe they needed it more then I did at the time. Maybe they needed to know that feeling of someone caring for them. Maybe it will help restore their own. Either way I figure God would not give me too little to work with so I won't wake up one day and realize I've given it all away. I guess I believe that because those moments that I learn about, those ones about playing a part in another's life…it's returned to me twofold.

Maybe that's the point of all of this.

So when is the point that enough is enough? Never. I believe that. I can't help myself. If you've managed to get inside …maybe…just maybe… you are supposed to be there.

"Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate." – Sex and the City