I have to wonder how old you have to get before you realize it's your life. That the mistakes you trudge in and out of are yours. That I would rather be in situations where the concept of a 'mistake' or 'lost' IS an option, that without it, what kind of life would I have? What would I have to show for it? And without it, how unbelievably thankless I would be.
I find myself with a wall hindering my direction. Consciously wondering if I have a direction at all.... is it easier to crawl over, run around or simply knock down a wall? Amazing how growth changes you.
I don't know if I turned out how my family thought. Given, it was perceived I was determined to make sure through everything I continued to shine through. That I didn't lose myself. According to Bernie the 70+ old man I lived next door to for 3 years in Fl says I haven't changed. Perhaps he is right but then again perhaps I do a good job of make believe. I say the latter but don't believe it. I'm fully aware that I am the one that always 'has a plan', a 'direction' and has my act together. But maybe, this disheveled mess of emotions, decisions, and faith is what keeps that direction. I was never good at seeing the intricate details at first. I view things black and white. Although I never seem to fail at intertwining the details once noticed, I don't always do it how it should be done. But...I dont care.
A firm believer in making mistakes, leaping off bridges and pots of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Reality believing that making mistakes causes tears, leaping off bridges causes scars and the pots of gold are given to those that are deserving.
Without salt dried cheeks, battle wounds and awestruck rainbows, it may be a life but it wouldnt be living.
Romans 12:12 12 'Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful.'
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