Sunday, January 17, 2010

Faith Hope Love

I haven’t written in a long time. I notice a change in my toleration when I haven’t written in a while. It’s a new year, and I start off every year with a recap of the previous.

- A year filled with hard realizations, love found, and faith that was tested.

I went back to school. I got a cat (who would have guessed that one?) I got engaged. I had a health scare. I got booted from my job of 5 years.

Live has been full of unexpected mountains this past year. I am however truly blessed.

I had a summer full of baseball stadiums, a birthday with friends & family, a sparkly ring, a superhero for Halloween and a kiss to ring in the New Year.

I have been listening to a lot of Etta James, Nikki Costa, Joss Stone and the like lately. Maybe I feel soulful? Maybe I just feel thankful.

2010 is a fresh start.

I have a new job. I will have a husband. I will have a new chapter of my life opened.

I broke a few months ago. The stress of life became too much, this doesn’t happen to me often. I usually perform well under stress, I need a little of it to feel motivation. However when you get engaged, have pre-cancerous cells diagnosed and then removed, lose your job, all in three months you find yourself wondering what exactly the Big Guy is trying to tell you.

It took me some time to figure it out. I had been lacking. Lacking attention to Him. I thought, how could I be blessed with a lovely man who wants to spend the rest of his life with me only to find out that life could be taken away? Then to add some salt to the wound, let’s let you go from a job that you were very loyal too. I was bitter. I admit it.

So as 2010 starts, I find myself healthy and conscious of routine checkups, employed where I am taken seriously even without a penis and I have purchased the perfect wedding dress. Sometimes it has to rain to shine and it has to storm to wash away the dirt.

I feel renewed. Do I still have hints of being scared? Absolutely.

And now these three remain: Faith, Hope, and Love. – 1 Corinthians 13:13