I read a blog today that I normally never read. I found sadness and confusion. This left me with mixed emotions but I fear if I were to say anything it would cause a domino effect of unpleasant scenarios. I do have to wonder if things would have been different under other circumstances, if the outcome would have been greater. It's hard to swallow the fact that you as a person have had an impact on someone in a growth experience way but you associate them with more negative anecdotes rather then happiness. Perhaps that too is a growing experience and for that whether I like it or not they molded a portion of me.

I am continually in awe of how a simple action causes a chain of effects. That at that moment that action does nothing but with time without you knowing was the stepping stone that catapulted you face first into the mud or soaring over the muck.

To be able to pinpoint those moments, I haven't decided if that is a good thing. Seemingly so a good thing if you soared but cause for blame if you wound up in the mud. Though I'm convinced, either spectrum leaves you with understanding and all in all the cause for something greater.

...maybe we impact more people that we realize and in turn they do us. I was never persuaded to believe that it's only those that have a permanent hold on our hearts have an impact, that if we don't always take a conscious role that we mean nothing. Ironically I can't understand this when it comes to myself and my impact on others though. I figure I'm not supposed to though. I figure you aren't always supposed to know.

Only thing I can figure is I must be doing something right. If I wasn't God wouldn't humble me so much and push me to try harder.