Defining

Lately I have been rather infatuated with 'moments' in time. Those slices of time that happen when you forget your camera. This weekend's moment was crossing Keystone Lake as the sun set. Perfection no matter what the weather forecast consists of. I don't know what it is about this setting but every time I cross it, those few minutes put into perspective the recent activity of my life. For those few moments it causes me to take a deep breath inhaling beauty and exhaling worry, as if they are being thrown over the bridge into the water to fade away.

Having a renewed sense of living coming or going knowing that in a few days I'll cross it again and do it all over. I love these moments. I crave these moments. I realize they are far and few between and for that I am thankful that I always have the constant one put in my path to reach other towns.

They say a moment can define you. I'm not sure I believe that, it's the ones after that do. The reaction, the consequence, the aftermath of emotion. So perhaps it's a series of moments that define you. I'm still debating.

I got compared to Holly Golightly the other evening. Although my initial reaction was of gratitude that someone would compare me to Audrey Hepburn I realize that after this moment passed, the next moment was of my analyzing this concept (which lets face it, gets me in more trouble that I would ever imagine at times). Whereas realizing that this truth wasn't particularly positive. Given she is wonderful, beautiful, quirky and intelligent but along with that is rather unknowable.

"You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." (Breakfast at Tiffany's)

And I must admit although I believe these things, I lack belief in them for myself. Hence my friends comparison I would presume. I have reasons to lack but am beginning to see those were moments defining me without realization. To which I now simply state and believe there will be that moment when it knocks down the rest of the moments, overpowers the lack and sweeps me off my feet.